Fairytales...

I went to see Disney On Ice on Saturday. Not really by choice. My mother had bought tickets and asked if I wanted to join her. "Not really" I thought. I love figure skating, I always have, but Snow White on skates isn't quite my thing. But... she had the tickets, she wanted my company, it was Disney's 100th anniversary, and any show will provide at least some kind of entertainment, so I went. And I'm glad that I did.

It was interesting. It definitely entertained. The music was obviously very good. It was a great reminder of all the different characters Disney has created over the years. And it was a good little eye-opener, too...

In the first half of the show, there was a part where all of the princesses were on ice at the same time, dancing/skating with their respective Prince Charmings. There was Belle, with her newly-handsome beast. There was Cinderella, there was Snow White, and there were a few others.

Like most little girls, my 4 and a half year old niece adores Princesses! She loves watching the Disney DVD's, and she loves dressing up as the characters. I sat there, at Disney on Ice, thinking about all of this from a 4 year olds' persepctive. And I sighed... how lovely to be a beautiful Princess. And how wonderful to think that we'll someday meet a dashing Prince Charming, when we grow up.

I wondered if this idea ever really truly leaves us. Of course, as we get older, and as reality inevitably kicks in, we become aware that a horse isn't going to be pulling up into our driveway, with our dashing future husband on board. But I think that there is always a little part of us that goes on hoping that we will someday find a man who will make us feel the way the Princesses in the fairytales seem to feel about their beaus.

I have a few girl friends who definitely feel as though they have found their Prince Charming. These women feel like the luckiest ladies in love, and they gush and glow in the presence of their partners, even after years of companionship. That feeling doesn't seem to fade for them. If anything, it seems to grow stronger and stronger.

So part of my reality, is that I have witnessed these incredibly happy women, living out real-life fairytale-like romances.

But there is another, bigger, part of my reality. And that's this: I have the most incredible girl friends a girl could ever wish for. And a good number of these wonderful women are succesful, attractive, intelligent, kind, and strangely, still single. They're happilly single, though they'd be happier not to be.

It's a phenomenon that seems to be pretty unique to our generation. In the past, women of a certain age who were childless and unmarried, were called spinsters. Today, we're called Independant women, career women, or simply one of the myriad of women who "hasn't found the right guy yet".

Whatever the reason is, we often don't know the reason, and it's often a huge mystery to us how on earth some of the women who are single, could possibly be single.

My reason, or at least my story, is this: I've been happily single for the past 4 years. After a series of nearly back-to-back, fairly serious relationships, I put myself on a "love hiatus" for 2 years, thinking that it's important and healthy for every women, every person, every adult to have a few solo-years to figure out what we're about as a onesome, before embarking on life as a twosome. This concept was very new to me, this being single thing, and it turned out to be a very welcome and wonderful experience! And so I extended that 2-year contract I had made with myself, for another year, and then another year... and it suddenly - and amazingly quickly - turned into 4 years. It's only quite recently that I've started to think "hmm.... wait a second... surely I'm not wanting to be single forever. I'm ready to rejoin the party!".

And so here I am now, 4 years older, and hopefully 4 years wiser, and yet still baffled and stumped when it comes to love. Is it a chance meeting? Is it destiny, pre-written in the cards for us, or is it a question of being at the right place at the right time? Who knows.... Can anybody really know?

I realized on Saturday that there should really be 2 kinds of fairytales. There are the kind we all know, and grew up with, where the "Princess" meets her "Prince", and they go on to live happily ever after. And that does sometimes happen. But there should also be another kind. The modern-day version, where the "Princess" is an independant hard-working career-woman, with a wonderful group of friends, who laugh and chat the hours away, while on the inside, she can't help but wonder if her Prince Charming is out there, and if their paths will ever cross...

I know what the ending is to the classic fairytale. I don't know what the ending is to the modern version. I guess time will tell. This phenomenon is quite new to our generation.

What I do know is that whatever happens, however our romantic stories end in the end, right now I am single, but I am far from lonely. I am so lucky to be surrounded by the most wonderful people, the most incredible and loving friends - men and women, single and coupled. And maybe for now this is my fairytale. My dream life. Even though it may not have been what Disney had in mind. For now, it's what makes me happy :)

Intro

Hi.

And welcome.

I’m Lisa. I’m 38 years old. I’m single. And I don’t have a clue what love is.

I’m stumped by it, intrigued by it, drawn toward it, baffled by it, and incredibly fascinated by it. And I’m on a mission to find out what exactly love is.

I've been in relationships. A long term one, some medium length ones, and a few shorter ones. I’ve loved. I’ve definitely loved. It would have been a sad 38 years if I hadn’t. And I’ve definitely been loved. It’s wonderfully reassuring to know that. And to have felt that.

But I still don’t feel as though I know what love-love is. True love. Real love. The love. I’m assuming that I haven’t experienced it yet, because I would hope that I would have recognized it, if it had made an appearance at some point.

That kind of love remains a mystery to me. An elusive abstract concept which is constantly tapping me on the shoulder and arousing my curiosity. And as a result, I long to grasp it, to learn about it, as much as I possibly can.

I wouldn’t have gotten behind the wheel of a car without first learning how to drive. And certainly a heart is far more valuable, and far more vulnerable. And can take us on far more interesting journeys. So I’m here to learn. Theoretically. And hopefully practically too, since it wouldn’t be as much fun, knowing the fundamentals, without being able to test drive the theories.

So that’s my mission here. To learn about love.

Today is October 10th 2009. A date which has no significance. However, in exactly a year from now, it will be 10/10/10, which I think is very funky! And an ideal date to set as a love-goal. A date when I plan be love-wiser than I am now, and able to say “ooooooh, so that’s what it’s all about....”

It would be nice to say “in a year from now, I would like to have found true love”. But I know that love never happens on a schedule or within any kind of time frame. It just simply and suddenly happens, usually catching the people it happens to by surprise. That much, I know, from having seen others fall deeply and passionately and happily in love.

My goal is this: “In a year from now, I’d like to know what love is”. I’d love to understand it.

That’s what this blog will be about. My learning about love.

My love lessons.

I’m looking forward to it! :)

Lisa